A conversation with my list

I say: “You do not own me. I am not defined by your size. I will not be drawn into your little tantrums about who comes first or how much attention you need. I can be more than you make me into. Go away.”

My list says: “You will do what I say, little missy, and do it now. If you do not adress my concerns, I will go in the closet and multiply like drunken bunnies on spring break in Aruba. Deal with me, or I will bring back those ugly black spots on the upstairs toilets, knowing full well that the toilet brush is downstairs. You will be what I want you to be…until I change my mind tomorrow and become something else, which you will also bow down to. You will:
1)dump the dishwasher
2) put dirty dishes into diswasher
3) pick up blankets and toys from living room
4 ) vacuum
5) deal with laundry, 5a) put a load in washer, 5b) take clean clothes out of dryer, fold, put away, 5c) put away clothes currently on my dresser, 5d) figure out what’s clean and what’s not on the girls floor
6) go through playroom and get rid of toys the kids seem incapable of putting away
7) finish sewing 2 garments for American Sewing Guild competition, deadline is Friday
8) sweep and mop floor in kitchen and backroom
9) finish picture wall: staple little hanger doo-hickies on back of frames, hang frames, put pictures in frames
10) put away all the stuff on the fireplace in back room that’s been sitting there for a month
11) pay bills
12) make bed
13) make grocery list, 13a) buy groceries
14) make list of what to discuss with Zoe’s teacher tomorrow
15) finish sewing Arika’s wedding dress for fitting on saturday
16) make appointment to get Quentin’s mop cut off for summer
17) call to double check date of my dr.’s appointment, 17a) call Kelley to confirm child-care needed for dr.’s appointment
18) make sure to take $1.00 into office at Olivia’s school to cover lunch yesterday
19) iron out of control pile of Kevin’s shirts that have been waiting around for weeks
20) figure out something edible for dinner
21) pick up Zoe’s perscription

I say: “Just what I needed. An arch-nemisis with an attitude. You win. But don’t get any ideas, I don’t like you. I will not be coersed into loving you. I will not embrace you. You are not welcome here, go away.”

My list says: “you are the only one capable of making me go away. No one else will even acknowledge my existance. I am yours to do with as you wish. I love you even if you do not love me. How can you know? Because I am always in your back pocket.”

I say: “22) go to the mall & find pants with no pockets.”


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